How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Writing Your Own Vows to Wow Your Spouse

Decide Together
Perhaps you know that you want to write vows with your partner, but are they on the same page? Make sure that the decision of writing your own wedding vows is one you make together.

Check With Your Officiant
Not every officiant, house of worship, or tradition of faith allows personalized wedding vows. Check in with your officiant to find out if personalized vows are acceptable. Also be prepared to hand in a copy of your vows early for review. And be sure to make one of these Adorable Custom Vows Notebooks (pictured) for your big day. 

Work Out the Details
Before you start writing, you must decide: if you and your spouse are writing individual vows or reading the same set of vows to one another, and if you are sharing the vow-writing process or keeping your vows a surprise until the wedding day.

Length and Due Date
Decide what your limits are. Maximum of 60 seconds? 150 word limit? Additionally, set a due date. Ideally, this should be at least three weeks before the wedding.

Decide on a Structure
If you’re writing vows separately, try agreeing on a structure so your vows are similar. You want to avoid sounding mismatched.

Start Early
Your vows should be done well before your wedding day. Give yourself plenty of time to reflect, write, revise, and practice saying your vows.

Take Time to Reflect
Quietly reflect on special memories with your partner, things you love about them, why your relationship works so well, and so on. You’ll likely come up with a few key points you want to share.

Seek Inspiration
If may be helpful to read examples of personalized wedding vows online. You’ll get a feel for how DIY wedding vows sound and how long they are.

Consider Your Tone
Choose a tone that fits your personality and also gels with your partner’s tone. You want your vows to sound like you and match the tone of your partner’s vows.

Be Yourself
Remember that your vows should authentically reflect your personality and your relationship with your partner. While you can seek inspiration elsewhere, be sure you write something meaningful for the two of you.

Remember Your Guests
It can be easy to forget that people other than your spouse will be listening. Be sure not to include anything too private, embarrassing, or confusing that you don’t want the guests to hear.

Declarations, Stories, and Promises
Three common elements in personalized wedding vows are: declarations, brief stories, and  promises. If you’re stuck, try adding these elements to your vows.

Avoid Cliches
Saying things like “you’re my soul mate” or “you’re my best friend” may be true, but it’s not original. Try to stay away from cliche phrases so that your words are as authentic and meaningful as possible.

Stick to Your Limits
You’ll probably get carried away in the writing process and write much more than you need for your vows. That’s fine. Give yourself time to write and revise so that you can pick out what you really want to say on your wedding day.

Practice
Memorization is optional, practice is not. Practice reading aloud before the big day so you can catch any errors and won’t trip over your words.

Keep a Clean Copy on Hand
Even if you have your vows memorized, have a copy handy the day of. If you freeze and forget everything you wanted to say, you’ll have a copy of your personalized wedding vows there to save the day. Try a set of these adorable His & Hers Vow Notebooks (pictured) to keep your vows close by. 

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